This quilt has squares of different things I feel guilty about throughout my life. Picture a quilt. Each square is normally lovingly handmade. Stitched together carefully and almost all quilts are exquisitely beautiful.
Now picture my quilt-maybe each piece has a word, a face or an action. Stitched together so intricately that they just seamlessly go together. This is a big quilt. And actually if you were to lift it, it would be quite heavy.....lead inside each square.
I am learning though that some of these squares do not belong to me. Somehow someone else's action or words got stitched into my quilt. But because the stitches are so well done, I am feeling the guilt.
I do not know when or what happened to make the first square or to have it be so woven into my life that the size and weight of this quilt has gotten too much to hold onto.
I have always heard guilt is Satan's way of stealing your joy. Guilt is of the devil,etc Well, if I didn't feel guilt about some things, I would think I had no conscience. BUT feeling guilty for things I shouldn't whether it be because I made a decision that is good for me but bad for someone else or someones actions make me feel guilty by association-that is Satan stealing my joy. Or maybe I made a mistake, for which I might think that others are thinking bad of me for and in fact they aren't.
So here is what I am doing with this quilt- I am working on removing it from my lap and laying it down at the feet of Jesus. As this heavy leaden quilt slips from my hands and makes its way over I will be reaching for a blanket. This blanket is so soft,so light, extremely beautiful in color and is full of joy inside. Blankets are loved on by an early age and carried until worn out. Mothers hate even throwing away their child's "blankey" because it brought joy and comfort to their child which in turn gave joy to the moms. It is THAT kind of blanket that I will embrace.
I was given a gift recently by a woman who I had never met, yet our lives are intertwined for several months right now. My guilt has been just so heavy in my heart and there was no way to let it go because I didn't know her. Her gift to me was to come up to me the other night at our first sighting and to say, I do not blame you. Do not feel guilty or bad...there is enough we have to deal with that you do not need to feel guilty or bad, LET IT GO. I was crying and thanking her-this was the start of the quilt leaving me....this gift by a stranger.
I am a good person, a child of God and no longer want to carry around this quilt. Several squares are already gone.......many more to go as well.
Therefore my heart is glad and
my glory [my inner self] rejoices; my body too shall rest and confidently dwell
in safety. Psalm 16: 9
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