Not getting to the end of a good book.....how I look at grief

Do you like to read? Could you imagine reading a really excellent book and never getting to read the last few chapters?
That is how I feel about my brother's passing. He will never get to know the ending of the stories of our lives, our families lives. Of course, he doesn't feel this way but I do. It is one of the worst things about grief, doing life without the one you love and being able to share the endings.

I think about several things he was in the middle of or how he will never know how certain things turn out. I talk to him and I tell him things but it is not the same. Events he will miss. How proud of his wife he would be through all of this junk she has to deal with-how her brother has stepped up to the plate, how I will never stop being her "forever sister". Things with my mom...just life, ya know?
He would be so MAD at being gone. I told my husband that and he said Well, who wouldn't hate it? Miserable people, that is who. Luckily many of us aren't miserable and for so many of us we know where we land. The bible clearly states we will know our loved ones in heaven and of course, at that point I won't care about the endings. All I will care about is meeting my God and seeing my loved ones.
But right now it hurts. It is painful and can be agonizing. Grief can be all consuming at moments and then gone the next. It can be joyful to remember one day and knee dropping the next.

When my dad passed I thought I was a know it all when it came to grief. About a year ago and friend's dad was murdered. I cooked a meal and went over there. I said all the "right things". Thought I knew how she felt and tried to impart wisdom. I was clueless to her pain. Totally clueless. Today I still don't think I have the grief she has because of circumstances but I get it more.

Don't get me wrong. I loved my dad tremendously. 4 years ago I lost that great man. But we knew it was coming. His suffering ended. Took me about 2 years to get out of that grief period and some days it is not gone but it is much easier. I am glad he wasn't here for Scott's passing. It would have destroyed him.

I sure hope 2 years from now this pain will have eased. I have learned a lot. I have accepted and expect those days when it is unbearable. But it doesn't change the fact that I would love to share the last few chapters of life with Scott.
If he could get all of his questions answered by God, he would be standing there with pipe in hand and saying to Him Wow-I never would have thought of that! He probably would want to know how certain things were made and he would tell Jesus- Ya know I am a carpenter too. He might even try to say Well, if you may want to try it this way......

I am grateful there is no emotional or physical pain for him. I am grateful of the time we had together on this earth. I am grateful he is my brother. I am grateful that I will see him again when the true final chapter happens,because really that is gonna be one cool ending.