I know it might stem from Scott dying when he was 50 and that while I am secure for what happens when I die, I don't want to die yet.
I shared this with a friend of mine and she said the best thing anyone could have said to me. She said Yes Scott died but Steve is a few years away from 60 and in spite of his lifestyle he is still alive.
That was a AH HA moment for me. The depression lifted and I decided to embrace it, Had a wonderful birthday!
I decided to find an old friend whose birthday is the day after mine. We lost touch through the years but she was always special to me. I had looked for her over the years and never could find her in the state she had moved. So I decided to put in the state of Maryland with her name(that is where we grew up) Well, she passed away several years ago. Sighhhh..... so I was able to find her sister and had a great talk with her about what happened.
Yesterday I decided to look up another friend who was such a wonderful friend and while we each moved away from VA we stayed in touch for a bit. As life has it tho we lost touch. I google her name and found out she died last year. DOUBLE Sighhhh....
This morning I called a friend of mine to let her know about our friend passing and we had a great conversation even though we hadn't talked in years(other then Facebook). It was nice to catch up and she always makes me smile.
I am feeling better about 50. Life feels good right now and I am enjoying it. One day I will die. I have no clue how,where or when. None of us do. But if I waste my 50's worrying about it all the time then what is the point of being in my 50's? Life is meant to live not meant to worry about when it ends.
Friends come in and out of our lives for a season. We enjoy them during that time and sometimes we depart ways for no reason...just life. The friends I have now are such a great group of friends. Enjoying our 50's together is going to be the best thing because I got to enjoy most of my 40's with them.
The point of this blog? I'm not sure other then to say I am ok for today. I am ok with being 50. I am blessed with family,friends and activities. Life happens. We continue on, things and people change but that is what makes life....well life.
Embrace. Enjoy.Find peace and comfort through my God. Maybe that is the point of this blog. To realize that is how I am going to try to live life. Life to the fullest. I might not be climbing actual mountains or able to travel to see the world but I can share love, compassion, humor with anyone who God puts in my path. Even if it is for a season.
