I knew when I started getting my thoughts together for this blog that they may not be what others think but since it is my blog and my thoughts I am going to express and I believe it is ok for you not to agree. Just glad you are taking the time to read it.
Since the CT shooting I have heard a lot of people talk about how we need to forgive the shooter. God gives us forgiveness and so we need to forgive others but honestly in my opinion,it is not our right to forgive this man.
Who are we? We are not family,friends or relatives of the victims. We are people who are angry and sad that 20 children and 6 adults lost their lives,true. But this man did not do this horrific crime to us therefore, I do not believe we have the right or privilege to forgive. I think that is inserting ourselves into a private matter that belongs to the loved ones.
We need to pray for the family and friends of all involved. We need to pray they can move passed their anger,heartache and yes, possibly, forgive. But think about it, how many times have you read something on the news about a killing,a kidnapping, an arsonist or a thief. Do you tell yourself you need to work on forgiveness towards them? Is it because these precious children lived in our nation? What about the man who stabbed 23 children in China on the same day as this shooting? Are you telling yourself you need to work on forgiving him? What about all of the other children in this world who suffer at the hands of terrorists? Did you know about the stabbings in China? He went into an elementary school as well. All of these children need our prayers. All of their families need our prayers.
But I believe if the act was not done to you,your family or someone you love-you do not have the right to insert yourself into the act of forgiveness. That makes you getting into the middle of something just to what? feel better? We will eventually go on with our lives, these families have a lifetime of heartache.
So be mad,sad,horrified, send money to the CT funds,yell at God,drop to your knees and pray,hug your loved ones tighter but leave the thought of needing to forgive to those who truly need to work on it if they can even find it in their hearts to do so.
Someone asked me if I could forgive if it happened to one of my children or grandchildren. My answer was I do not believe I am that good of a person to do so. I would like to think I could because that is what God wants me to do but honestly I am not sure how I could find it in my soul. Maybe. Maybe I would because my kids would want me to,maybe I would because God wants me to but if I didn't, God would still love me. God forgives. God loves.
I do believe this man is in hell. He did not ask Jesus to be his savior prior to shooting himself,that I can almost guaranty you.
There is one way into heaven,accepting Jesus as your savior. Takes only a couple of minutes but it takes strength,courage and a lot of work to hang in there during times that we do not understand. I am not going to try to say I understand why all of this was allowed, I even said to Mike, couldn't have God had him just die in a fatal wreck on way to the school? Yeah, I'm kinda ticked at God that He didn't. But God is my Father and just like my dad, He can handle what I dish out. He knows I will stop being mad and that I know He will still love me.
See? I told you it may not be what you think, it may even sound cynical or cold. I am not sure how it will come across. I just know I needed to express it.
Wishing everyone a Merry and safe Christmas!
S
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Therapy is like a car tune up......
You know how it is...you go for a tune up for your car and they can find other things that need fixing. Well, it me that is what therapy is like.....
I wanted my daughter Melissa go see a therapist just to make sure she was ready for the world of adulthood,going to college,etc. I wanted to make sure she was emotionally healthy. She laughed and said I will go but all I will do is complain about you and Mike. So we laughed and said fine, just get our moneys worth! It was a tune up visit....
Only the therapist wanted to talk to me alone next. Then the 2 of us would go in to speak with her together. So come to find out not only do I need a tune up but my windshield wipers need replace, my timing belt is definitely off, all of my fluids are low and come to think of it...the engine is running strangely. :-/ But good news is Melissa is fine! HA!
I am glad. I need therapy. It helped me in the past many years ago and definitely is helping me now.
We have only had a few sessions but the things I am learning in there and on my own is helping my thought process. I need help and am not afraid to admit it. Back to my first posting "Be brave"
Do I want to rehash or look at things I may not want to? Heck flippin no! My childhood was a conflicting one...full of great memories and just as full of terrible ones. Even my adulthood has been less then desirable for the first half of it. I especially don't wanna deal with my own failings or personality defects in the present. BUT if I am ever going to get rid of my mild depression,my anxiety and maybe some of my defects then I have to do the work. Work is work no matter whether it is a job, house chores or explaining into your mind. Work sucks. Work can be beneficial, rewarding.
Victorious.
I have overcome a lot in my life. I have dealt with my junk before. But it never hurts to have fresh eyes of a therapist to help you see better. Does it mean those of us in therapy are less of a woman or man? That we are crazy. Nope, in fact I believe those who go to a therapist for a tune up or more, are brave. We are better people because we ARE willing to deal with and fix things that might not only effect us but our families.
If your car was making terrible noises you would get it to a mechanic right away. If your family is making terrible noises in your ear about how you need to get check out, just do it. Do it for them but above all do it for yourself. You will be so glad you did.
I wanted my daughter Melissa go see a therapist just to make sure she was ready for the world of adulthood,going to college,etc. I wanted to make sure she was emotionally healthy. She laughed and said I will go but all I will do is complain about you and Mike. So we laughed and said fine, just get our moneys worth! It was a tune up visit....
Only the therapist wanted to talk to me alone next. Then the 2 of us would go in to speak with her together. So come to find out not only do I need a tune up but my windshield wipers need replace, my timing belt is definitely off, all of my fluids are low and come to think of it...the engine is running strangely. :-/ But good news is Melissa is fine! HA!
I am glad. I need therapy. It helped me in the past many years ago and definitely is helping me now.
We have only had a few sessions but the things I am learning in there and on my own is helping my thought process. I need help and am not afraid to admit it. Back to my first posting "Be brave"
Do I want to rehash or look at things I may not want to? Heck flippin no! My childhood was a conflicting one...full of great memories and just as full of terrible ones. Even my adulthood has been less then desirable for the first half of it. I especially don't wanna deal with my own failings or personality defects in the present. BUT if I am ever going to get rid of my mild depression,my anxiety and maybe some of my defects then I have to do the work. Work is work no matter whether it is a job, house chores or explaining into your mind. Work sucks. Work can be beneficial, rewarding.
Victorious.
I have overcome a lot in my life. I have dealt with my junk before. But it never hurts to have fresh eyes of a therapist to help you see better. Does it mean those of us in therapy are less of a woman or man? That we are crazy. Nope, in fact I believe those who go to a therapist for a tune up or more, are brave. We are better people because we ARE willing to deal with and fix things that might not only effect us but our families.
If your car was making terrible noises you would get it to a mechanic right away. If your family is making terrible noises in your ear about how you need to get check out, just do it. Do it for them but above all do it for yourself. You will be so glad you did.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
The Guilt Quilt....
So I have this quilt made of guilt. Obviously not a real one but one I have made up recently.
This quilt has squares of different things I feel guilty about throughout my life. Picture a quilt. Each square is normally lovingly handmade. Stitched together carefully and almost all quilts are exquisitely beautiful.
Now picture my quilt-maybe each piece has a word, a face or an action. Stitched together so intricately that they just seamlessly go together. This is a big quilt. And actually if you were to lift it, it would be quite heavy.....lead inside each square.
I am learning though that some of these squares do not belong to me. Somehow someone else's action or words got stitched into my quilt. But because the stitches are so well done, I am feeling the guilt.
I do not know when or what happened to make the first square or to have it be so woven into my life that the size and weight of this quilt has gotten too much to hold onto.
I have always heard guilt is Satan's way of stealing your joy. Guilt is of the devil,etc Well, if I didn't feel guilt about some things, I would think I had no conscience. BUT feeling guilty for things I shouldn't whether it be because I made a decision that is good for me but bad for someone else or someones actions make me feel guilty by association-that is Satan stealing my joy. Or maybe I made a mistake, for which I might think that others are thinking bad of me for and in fact they aren't.
So here is what I am doing with this quilt- I am working on removing it from my lap and laying it down at the feet of Jesus. As this heavy leaden quilt slips from my hands and makes its way over I will be reaching for a blanket. This blanket is so soft,so light, extremely beautiful in color and is full of joy inside. Blankets are loved on by an early age and carried until worn out. Mothers hate even throwing away their child's "blankey" because it brought joy and comfort to their child which in turn gave joy to the moms. It is THAT kind of blanket that I will embrace.
I was given a gift recently by a woman who I had never met, yet our lives are intertwined for several months right now. My guilt has been just so heavy in my heart and there was no way to let it go because I didn't know her. Her gift to me was to come up to me the other night at our first sighting and to say, I do not blame you. Do not feel guilty or bad...there is enough we have to deal with that you do not need to feel guilty or bad, LET IT GO. I was crying and thanking her-this was the start of the quilt leaving me....this gift by a stranger.
I am a good person, a child of God and no longer want to carry around this quilt. Several squares are already gone.......many more to go as well.
This quilt has squares of different things I feel guilty about throughout my life. Picture a quilt. Each square is normally lovingly handmade. Stitched together carefully and almost all quilts are exquisitely beautiful.
Now picture my quilt-maybe each piece has a word, a face or an action. Stitched together so intricately that they just seamlessly go together. This is a big quilt. And actually if you were to lift it, it would be quite heavy.....lead inside each square.
I am learning though that some of these squares do not belong to me. Somehow someone else's action or words got stitched into my quilt. But because the stitches are so well done, I am feeling the guilt.
I do not know when or what happened to make the first square or to have it be so woven into my life that the size and weight of this quilt has gotten too much to hold onto.
I have always heard guilt is Satan's way of stealing your joy. Guilt is of the devil,etc Well, if I didn't feel guilt about some things, I would think I had no conscience. BUT feeling guilty for things I shouldn't whether it be because I made a decision that is good for me but bad for someone else or someones actions make me feel guilty by association-that is Satan stealing my joy. Or maybe I made a mistake, for which I might think that others are thinking bad of me for and in fact they aren't.
So here is what I am doing with this quilt- I am working on removing it from my lap and laying it down at the feet of Jesus. As this heavy leaden quilt slips from my hands and makes its way over I will be reaching for a blanket. This blanket is so soft,so light, extremely beautiful in color and is full of joy inside. Blankets are loved on by an early age and carried until worn out. Mothers hate even throwing away their child's "blankey" because it brought joy and comfort to their child which in turn gave joy to the moms. It is THAT kind of blanket that I will embrace.
I was given a gift recently by a woman who I had never met, yet our lives are intertwined for several months right now. My guilt has been just so heavy in my heart and there was no way to let it go because I didn't know her. Her gift to me was to come up to me the other night at our first sighting and to say, I do not blame you. Do not feel guilty or bad...there is enough we have to deal with that you do not need to feel guilty or bad, LET IT GO. I was crying and thanking her-this was the start of the quilt leaving me....this gift by a stranger.
I am a good person, a child of God and no longer want to carry around this quilt. Several squares are already gone.......many more to go as well.
Therefore my heart is glad and
my glory [my inner self] rejoices; my body too shall rest and confidently dwell
in safety. Psalm 16: 9
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Move to a small town! No, wait..stay where you are!!!!
I love small town living. Period. End of Story. I will never want to live in a "city" or larger town again.I have been here 8 years now and my town has grown from 8,400 to almost 11k in last year's census. If it gets any bigger, I might wanna move. :)
Now, we do not live in a little rinky dink 1 store kinda town but coming from Virginia Beach(pop. 432,000 in 2004) to here was a big change. A lovely change.
I mean, it is things like not standing in the post office but for a few minutes even at Christmas time that I appreciate. I can run my errands within a 3 mile radius on most days without having to sit in VA Beach Blvd traffic making my errand time quadruple.
Don't get me wrong, I miss my family and friends from there. But the lines in traffic,post office,DMV,grocery store,etc is what I do not miss.Crime,houses close together,bass booming from cars...those things I do not miss. As I type I actually hear crickets and a cow mooing! Ha!
I have learned that Friday night High School football games can be the main attraction...traffic gets busy then. But I never grow tired of the hand made signs from the teens hanging at local business..taunting the team coming to play against them. I live near a high school(only 2 in the whole town) and enjoy hearing the marching band practice outside.
Hometown parades are fun for many and happen a couple of times a year in this town.
I love seeing deer going into the woods,or at the odd times running down my street or grazing in my front yard.
Sure,we have a gas station just off the interstate called Nervous Charlies with a giant gorilla statue by the front door. Why is Charlie Nervous and why is there is gorilla???? I dunno...but you can gas your car,buy cigarettes AND fireworks all at the same time! But we now have a Walmart too, huge deal when that was built.
I have talked to people who tell me how it was before I moved here-wish I could have seen it then and watched it grow to where it is now. Not sure I want it to grow too much more, too many people cause more problems.
Only 2 murders have occurred in White House since crime started being recorded many years ago. 2 TOTAL.....people can change that type of stat. I do acknowledge we have had 2 bank robberies and 1 jewelry store robbed over the last few years but that can be a daily occurrence in larger cities or towns.
So many people from here love the beach. I love mountains. So maybe there is always that yearning for something different then where we are, I don't know.
So while I really think when you hit 40ish you should move to a small town and enjoy life at a less stressful slower lazy kinda rate...I am thinking that there is another town for you. I like my town just the size and way it is...sweet,beautiful with a certain charm,new mixed with old,more churches then grocery stores and a dash of redneck tossed in.
It is definitely a "Watertower Town" if only we had an old main street to stroll on.
P.S. I swear the sky is bluer and the grass is greener here. :)
Now, we do not live in a little rinky dink 1 store kinda town but coming from Virginia Beach(pop. 432,000 in 2004) to here was a big change. A lovely change.
I mean, it is things like not standing in the post office but for a few minutes even at Christmas time that I appreciate. I can run my errands within a 3 mile radius on most days without having to sit in VA Beach Blvd traffic making my errand time quadruple.
Don't get me wrong, I miss my family and friends from there. But the lines in traffic,post office,DMV,grocery store,etc is what I do not miss.Crime,houses close together,bass booming from cars...those things I do not miss. As I type I actually hear crickets and a cow mooing! Ha!
I have learned that Friday night High School football games can be the main attraction...traffic gets busy then. But I never grow tired of the hand made signs from the teens hanging at local business..taunting the team coming to play against them. I live near a high school(only 2 in the whole town) and enjoy hearing the marching band practice outside.
Hometown parades are fun for many and happen a couple of times a year in this town.
I love seeing deer going into the woods,or at the odd times running down my street or grazing in my front yard.
Sure,we have a gas station just off the interstate called Nervous Charlies with a giant gorilla statue by the front door. Why is Charlie Nervous and why is there is gorilla???? I dunno...but you can gas your car,buy cigarettes AND fireworks all at the same time! But we now have a Walmart too, huge deal when that was built.
I have talked to people who tell me how it was before I moved here-wish I could have seen it then and watched it grow to where it is now. Not sure I want it to grow too much more, too many people cause more problems.
Only 2 murders have occurred in White House since crime started being recorded many years ago. 2 TOTAL.....people can change that type of stat. I do acknowledge we have had 2 bank robberies and 1 jewelry store robbed over the last few years but that can be a daily occurrence in larger cities or towns.
So many people from here love the beach. I love mountains. So maybe there is always that yearning for something different then where we are, I don't know.
So while I really think when you hit 40ish you should move to a small town and enjoy life at a less stressful slower lazy kinda rate...I am thinking that there is another town for you. I like my town just the size and way it is...sweet,beautiful with a certain charm,new mixed with old,more churches then grocery stores and a dash of redneck tossed in.
It is definitely a "Watertower Town" if only we had an old main street to stroll on.
P.S. I swear the sky is bluer and the grass is greener here. :)
Thursday, September 13, 2012
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose!
I love my friends! If there is one thing I do right in life besides my kids, it is picking friends.
I have always had a great choice of friends in my life. I made better choices of friends then I did men through the years(current hubby excluded, of course!). But I kinda take that for granted...I just always sorta thought everyone made lots of friends.
As an adult I have learned that it isn't so easy for many. Trust issues get in the way. Self esteem issues make us hesitant. But most of all, I think people screw up other people,leave damage in their wake and could care less. People can be damaging and damaged. That really makes me sad because I truly love people. Always have, I now believe that is God's love shining through me, God wants us to love people. To show people His love.
I wish everyone had a best friend. I wish everyone could laugh til they pee. I wish everyone had someone in their live who is 100 % trustworthy and all in the friendship no matter what life throws at them. I wish everyone had someone who knows almost everything about you and could care less because they love you anyway.
As we go through life, we see who can survive through the rubble that is sometimes our lives. Who stands with us tossing boulders out of our way saying...whew...what's next?
I have gotten in touch with childhood friends via Facebook but because of my choices in life as a teen, I lost touch and lost closeness with those friends. Everything has a season and those friends were there for that season in my life. I wonder what it would be like to have made better choices that would have kept me in the area,near those friends. Life would be so different.
But then I would not be able to blog the following if life had been different........
I have a BFF,Jane, she has been my friend for more years then I am going to say. We met as adults and there has been rubble in both our lives, there has been fights,laughter,distance and tears. But I know and she knows we are there in a flash. Whether it is a phone call, a favor or a down right emergency. No doubts,no matter how busy.
I also have a couple of close friends who I have met since coming to TN that I can say have been there for me more times in my life over the last few years then I have earned the right for them to be. One phone call and they come running. over and over. I don't know what I did to deserve it but if I am half the friend to them as they all are to me... I don't know I can ever repay.
My daughters are now old enough I call them my friends too. Although, I am still parenting Melissa, she is so mature that I am ok considering her a friend. I am a parent first and foremost but I am lucky to have her to talk to as well as my daughter Jill.
I am also lucky to have some family members who I am extremely close to that I know if I ever needed a shoulder....or anything...they would be there.
So for me, today is the day I appreciate my friends. God knows whose paths we need to cross and whose paths we will forever been connected.
Let your friends know you appreciate them, not everyone has 'em.
Tomorrow- smile at a stranger..it may be the nicest thing that happens to them.
I have always had a great choice of friends in my life. I made better choices of friends then I did men through the years(current hubby excluded, of course!). But I kinda take that for granted...I just always sorta thought everyone made lots of friends.
As an adult I have learned that it isn't so easy for many. Trust issues get in the way. Self esteem issues make us hesitant. But most of all, I think people screw up other people,leave damage in their wake and could care less. People can be damaging and damaged. That really makes me sad because I truly love people. Always have, I now believe that is God's love shining through me, God wants us to love people. To show people His love.
I wish everyone had a best friend. I wish everyone could laugh til they pee. I wish everyone had someone in their live who is 100 % trustworthy and all in the friendship no matter what life throws at them. I wish everyone had someone who knows almost everything about you and could care less because they love you anyway.
As we go through life, we see who can survive through the rubble that is sometimes our lives. Who stands with us tossing boulders out of our way saying...whew...what's next?
I have gotten in touch with childhood friends via Facebook but because of my choices in life as a teen, I lost touch and lost closeness with those friends. Everything has a season and those friends were there for that season in my life. I wonder what it would be like to have made better choices that would have kept me in the area,near those friends. Life would be so different.
But then I would not be able to blog the following if life had been different........
I have a BFF,Jane, she has been my friend for more years then I am going to say. We met as adults and there has been rubble in both our lives, there has been fights,laughter,distance and tears. But I know and she knows we are there in a flash. Whether it is a phone call, a favor or a down right emergency. No doubts,no matter how busy.
I also have a couple of close friends who I have met since coming to TN that I can say have been there for me more times in my life over the last few years then I have earned the right for them to be. One phone call and they come running. over and over. I don't know what I did to deserve it but if I am half the friend to them as they all are to me... I don't know I can ever repay.
My daughters are now old enough I call them my friends too. Although, I am still parenting Melissa, she is so mature that I am ok considering her a friend. I am a parent first and foremost but I am lucky to have her to talk to as well as my daughter Jill.
I am also lucky to have some family members who I am extremely close to that I know if I ever needed a shoulder....or anything...they would be there.
So for me, today is the day I appreciate my friends. God knows whose paths we need to cross and whose paths we will forever been connected.
Let your friends know you appreciate them, not everyone has 'em.
Tomorrow- smile at a stranger..it may be the nicest thing that happens to them.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Jesus-did you cut the cheese?
During the time that I should be falling asleep at night my brain actually goes into rambling mode. I can think of so many things in a matter of minutes...drives me crazy!
Last night was no exception. I was thinking about one of my favorite christian authors, Max Lucado and how he described Jesus in a book. He made Jesus more real to me in the man form.
Jesus sweat, he stunk, had morning breath, did bodily functions,Jesus had pimples, and even passed gas. Can you see Jesus and his disciples on a boat..."Alright...who cut the cheese?" " Hey Peter, whoever denies-supplies!"
Jesus was just like us. Weird to think about, isn't it? Almost feels like you are dishonoring God by saying Jesus had BO or morning breath, but it is true. Reality is he did all the things the human body does,including shed tears,felt pain and bled. It is easier to think about those things, isn't it? If you can picture Jesus smiling,crying,feeling pain and bleeding you believe in God in some way. If you feel offended when someone uses God's name in vain, feel unworthy of the blood Jesus shed for you, the piercing pain He felt so you can be saved, then you probably are saved.
I hope so.
He will return and truthfully, I think that day is coming sooner then later. Do I think it is Dec 21,2012? No,but it could happen. Do I think it will happen in my lifetime? I sure hope so. I'm kinda tired of this world. But as a friend recently said to me, we may be ready but there are others who aren't. God wants them to be saved and ready too. We are selfish to think "Come'on God,where are ya???" When others barely have whispered His name. Besides, who are we to tell God what to do?
For me, I don't read the bible like I should, am in the middle of finding another church,catch myself doing things every day that God probably is shaking His head saying...Haven't I talked to her about that before?? But I am a work in progress. Being a christian in no way,shape or form means you are perfect or that life is wonderful. Almost the opposite, you become fully aware of your sins and the tests you are given to make testimonies with can be harsh. But even tho I have bad habits, every day I strive to please Him. Every day I am in prayer and no I do not mean a hour a day or a long time commitment every day. I pray all day long,seconds or minutes at a time. I see a prayer request on Facebook-prayer done. I think of a friend who is having a hard time, prayer done, I think of church leadership-up another one goes. I think of an issue I have and I will toss a quick one up.
God doesn't care how you to talk Him. He just wants you to talk to Him.
I know Christians that I totally want to be where they are in their faith. One day I hope to be. I know Christians who know way in heck I wanna be like they are-buncha hypocrites. Work in progress is ok by me and ok by my God.
I hope you pray. I truly pray you are saved. Getting saved is one of the easiest things I did-in a movie theater that was used by our church back in 1998. Getting saved is one of the smartest things I ever did. Learning that Jesus smelled, passed gas,got hairy,had pimples just made Him all the better in my eyes. He knows what each of us endure in our lifetime from the smallest to the biggest moments.
Kinda cool.
Last night was no exception. I was thinking about one of my favorite christian authors, Max Lucado and how he described Jesus in a book. He made Jesus more real to me in the man form.
Jesus sweat, he stunk, had morning breath, did bodily functions,Jesus had pimples, and even passed gas. Can you see Jesus and his disciples on a boat..."Alright...who cut the cheese?" " Hey Peter, whoever denies-supplies!"
Jesus was just like us. Weird to think about, isn't it? Almost feels like you are dishonoring God by saying Jesus had BO or morning breath, but it is true. Reality is he did all the things the human body does,including shed tears,felt pain and bled. It is easier to think about those things, isn't it? If you can picture Jesus smiling,crying,feeling pain and bleeding you believe in God in some way. If you feel offended when someone uses God's name in vain, feel unworthy of the blood Jesus shed for you, the piercing pain He felt so you can be saved, then you probably are saved.
I hope so.
He will return and truthfully, I think that day is coming sooner then later. Do I think it is Dec 21,2012? No,but it could happen. Do I think it will happen in my lifetime? I sure hope so. I'm kinda tired of this world. But as a friend recently said to me, we may be ready but there are others who aren't. God wants them to be saved and ready too. We are selfish to think "Come'on God,where are ya???" When others barely have whispered His name. Besides, who are we to tell God what to do?
For me, I don't read the bible like I should, am in the middle of finding another church,catch myself doing things every day that God probably is shaking His head saying...Haven't I talked to her about that before?? But I am a work in progress. Being a christian in no way,shape or form means you are perfect or that life is wonderful. Almost the opposite, you become fully aware of your sins and the tests you are given to make testimonies with can be harsh. But even tho I have bad habits, every day I strive to please Him. Every day I am in prayer and no I do not mean a hour a day or a long time commitment every day. I pray all day long,seconds or minutes at a time. I see a prayer request on Facebook-prayer done. I think of a friend who is having a hard time, prayer done, I think of church leadership-up another one goes. I think of an issue I have and I will toss a quick one up.
God doesn't care how you to talk Him. He just wants you to talk to Him.
I know Christians that I totally want to be where they are in their faith. One day I hope to be. I know Christians who know way in heck I wanna be like they are-buncha hypocrites. Work in progress is ok by me and ok by my God.
I hope you pray. I truly pray you are saved. Getting saved is one of the easiest things I did-in a movie theater that was used by our church back in 1998. Getting saved is one of the smartest things I ever did. Learning that Jesus smelled, passed gas,got hairy,had pimples just made Him all the better in my eyes. He knows what each of us endure in our lifetime from the smallest to the biggest moments.
Kinda cool.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Say I do before the bubbles choke you.....
My hubby and I celebrated 13 years of marriage this past weekend. You notice I didn't say "13 years of blissful marriage" and he would not want me to say that lie. We have had some rough roads,probably times when we each thought we wanted to call it quits but we wouldn't. We are just meant to be together and we know it. We love each other during and through the rough times. Of course, we love each other more during the good times. :)
I think the key is compromise and communication. We really try to keep those in focus.
Really, considering we met each other 1 time in person and the next time we saw each other he was helping me move in to our apartment, I think we are very fortunate to have each other and to have the desire/love to make it work.
I am not going to bore you with the details of our relationship. Maybe one day. Basics-we met online in a chat room. We talked months on end and had fallen in love. We knew it,couldn't explain it back then any more then we could today other then we were meant to be. God has plans. Period.
Our families were surprisingly accepting of us being together. Although,he moved to me in VA and I truly believe if I had told my parents I was taking my girls to move with him in NJ it would have been a different story.
We met my cousin and his wife for dinner this weekend. We have become very close friends through the years. We got to talking about our wedding and how they came to Vegas to meet us. We were west coast/east coast cousins who really didn't know much about each other until my parents reunited with him in a trip to Vegas a couple of years prior. Then he and I started talking. In fact, I helped the 2 of them get together.
When he knew we were coming to Vegas and they lived in CA at the time, there was only one choice but for them to come out during our honeymoon. We had a great time then and now.
Funny story is that,quite honestly, I was waiting for my divorce to become final as we were flying out there. Calling my attorney when we changed planes in St. Louis. Getting to hotel in Vegas to find out the judge had not signed the papers. We had everything arranged for that night. Limo,chapel,etc.
As we sat at dinner, Mike looked at me and basically was like what choice do we have? It will work out, so what if there is a few hours difference? HA! I think he was thinking...heck yeah I will have a way out if this doesn't work. :) Just kidding...kinda. So, as I looked at my future hubby I tossed up a prayer to God. God, please don't have this happen. I don't know what do to but I know you don't want me married to 2 people even for 5 minutes. I need help here.
I mean after all, this was HIS idea!
So we go back to the room to get ready and the phone rings. It was the chapel calling. Their limo driver had a family emergency and could we reschedule for tomorrow? They apologize for the issue and would throw in a free video of the wedding for our troubles. After I picked my jaw up off the phone, I looked up, mouthed "Thank You" and told her we would see them tomorrow. Now I know some would say oh sure God made the limo driver have a family emergency just for you. My answer? YUP! Now I would like to believe it was not a major crisis and everything is ok, ya know..something that he had to leave work but not life altering. Who knows? She could have been lying, he could have been lying. All I know is I was most definitely divorced when I got remarried.
Oh and that video? We still have it on VCR and at the end you can see the minister's wife blowing bubbles in front of camera. Vegas wedding, as cheesy as it was-I wouldn't change marrying my best friend. Stress,bubbles,love and all. :)
I think the key is compromise and communication. We really try to keep those in focus.
Really, considering we met each other 1 time in person and the next time we saw each other he was helping me move in to our apartment, I think we are very fortunate to have each other and to have the desire/love to make it work.
I am not going to bore you with the details of our relationship. Maybe one day. Basics-we met online in a chat room. We talked months on end and had fallen in love. We knew it,couldn't explain it back then any more then we could today other then we were meant to be. God has plans. Period.
Our families were surprisingly accepting of us being together. Although,he moved to me in VA and I truly believe if I had told my parents I was taking my girls to move with him in NJ it would have been a different story.
We met my cousin and his wife for dinner this weekend. We have become very close friends through the years. We got to talking about our wedding and how they came to Vegas to meet us. We were west coast/east coast cousins who really didn't know much about each other until my parents reunited with him in a trip to Vegas a couple of years prior. Then he and I started talking. In fact, I helped the 2 of them get together.
When he knew we were coming to Vegas and they lived in CA at the time, there was only one choice but for them to come out during our honeymoon. We had a great time then and now.
Funny story is that,quite honestly, I was waiting for my divorce to become final as we were flying out there. Calling my attorney when we changed planes in St. Louis. Getting to hotel in Vegas to find out the judge had not signed the papers. We had everything arranged for that night. Limo,chapel,etc.
As we sat at dinner, Mike looked at me and basically was like what choice do we have? It will work out, so what if there is a few hours difference? HA! I think he was thinking...heck yeah I will have a way out if this doesn't work. :) Just kidding...kinda. So, as I looked at my future hubby I tossed up a prayer to God. God, please don't have this happen. I don't know what do to but I know you don't want me married to 2 people even for 5 minutes. I need help here.
I mean after all, this was HIS idea!
So we go back to the room to get ready and the phone rings. It was the chapel calling. Their limo driver had a family emergency and could we reschedule for tomorrow? They apologize for the issue and would throw in a free video of the wedding for our troubles. After I picked my jaw up off the phone, I looked up, mouthed "Thank You" and told her we would see them tomorrow. Now I know some would say oh sure God made the limo driver have a family emergency just for you. My answer? YUP! Now I would like to believe it was not a major crisis and everything is ok, ya know..something that he had to leave work but not life altering. Who knows? She could have been lying, he could have been lying. All I know is I was most definitely divorced when I got remarried.
Oh and that video? We still have it on VCR and at the end you can see the minister's wife blowing bubbles in front of camera. Vegas wedding, as cheesy as it was-I wouldn't change marrying my best friend. Stress,bubbles,love and all. :)
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Title of my blog
I guess I should explain the title of my blog:
My daughter, M, believes everyone is like a cookie,muffin or cupcake.
A cookie can be good,it is ok. But yet it can be hard. Brittle. Crumby. It can be soft and yummy but it is just a cookie.
A muffin is forgettable. While good, there are some bland ones. You tend to like them but they are average.
A cupcake is sweet and fun. Everyone likes a cupcake. Cupcakes make you smile she says. But too much of one can be a bad thing,too. But most people remember that cupcake that they enjoyed.
She says I am a cupcake. I will take that-even if sometimes too much of me is a bad thing. :)
If you are not a cupcake,hang in with me through this journal and maybe some of my icing will rub off on you.:)
My daughter, M, believes everyone is like a cookie,muffin or cupcake.
A cookie can be good,it is ok. But yet it can be hard. Brittle. Crumby. It can be soft and yummy but it is just a cookie.
A muffin is forgettable. While good, there are some bland ones. You tend to like them but they are average.
A cupcake is sweet and fun. Everyone likes a cupcake. Cupcakes make you smile she says. But too much of one can be a bad thing,too. But most people remember that cupcake that they enjoyed.
She says I am a cupcake. I will take that-even if sometimes too much of me is a bad thing. :)
If you are not a cupcake,hang in with me through this journal and maybe some of my icing will rub off on you.:)
Words to live by....
Be Brave.
Those 2 words were spoken to me yesterday by a friend of mine. We were just hanging out at my house,catching up on life and I was telling her I believe my new chiropractor is really a serial killer who likes breaking necks. OK, so my first neck cracking made me melodramatic!
Anyway,she simply said "Be Brave."
Those 2 words have been bouncing around in my head like a ping pong ball for 24 hours. The reason being is I think I need to start being brave in a lot of areas in my life.
Being brave relates to take a step of faith. If you just take that first brave step,God is waiting to help with the rest of the steps.
I have a couple of things going on that I realized I needed to just be brave. Write that email I needed to write. Done, just had to have the courage to face what I didn't want to face. But it is done!
Mike and I had to make a decision not to buy 2 things we wanted,not needed but just wanted. Being an adult stinks sometimes...it may not have anything to do with bravery but it had to do what was right instead of what felt good. Be brave to make adult choices. Done!
I have wanted to do another blog. My last one was more about my past and that door is hopefully closed. I am looking at today and tomorrow. Yesterday is done. I heard a saying recently- if your past comes calling,let the voicemail pick up! So this is me,being brave and trying a new blog at the risk of sounding silly,dumb,lame,etc. Done!
My teenager,M,is a senior and leaving for college next year. Boy, will I need to be brave then! I am needing to be brave now just knowing it is coming! My goal is to try to do things and hang out with her as much as we can before she goes. The little moments are what I really love the most with her. We are silly together. We have inside jokes together. She is a light in my life that she probably doesn't even realize how much she shines in my eyes. My goal-to make sure she knows it, beyond a shadow of a doubt before she embarks on her new journey in life. Be brave,mom.
My friend who is being so brave with troubles in her own life,has no idea what an impact she made with those words. Hopefully, she will be reading this blog so she can see I happen to think she is one of the most courageous people I know.
So many stories in the bible of bravery but don't you think Jesus's is the bravest of all? I wonder if anyone whispered "Be Brave" as he made that walk to his death? I do know God whispers it to so many people I have come across in my life.Those with cancer,those who suffered abuse,miscarriage,death of loved ones,divorce,financial ruin. I can just see the courage God breathed into them. Also, those who are taking those brave faithful steps-going back to college as an adult,having a baby when life isn't perfect, trusting someone new,finding a church or job where they fit in. Joy comes from faith. Courage comes from faith. Life without faith just doesn't make sense to me.
Be brave. Just for a moment in time. See how it works. I know I will.
Those 2 words were spoken to me yesterday by a friend of mine. We were just hanging out at my house,catching up on life and I was telling her I believe my new chiropractor is really a serial killer who likes breaking necks. OK, so my first neck cracking made me melodramatic!
Anyway,she simply said "Be Brave."
Those 2 words have been bouncing around in my head like a ping pong ball for 24 hours. The reason being is I think I need to start being brave in a lot of areas in my life.
Being brave relates to take a step of faith. If you just take that first brave step,God is waiting to help with the rest of the steps.
I have a couple of things going on that I realized I needed to just be brave. Write that email I needed to write. Done, just had to have the courage to face what I didn't want to face. But it is done!
Mike and I had to make a decision not to buy 2 things we wanted,not needed but just wanted. Being an adult stinks sometimes...it may not have anything to do with bravery but it had to do what was right instead of what felt good. Be brave to make adult choices. Done!
I have wanted to do another blog. My last one was more about my past and that door is hopefully closed. I am looking at today and tomorrow. Yesterday is done. I heard a saying recently- if your past comes calling,let the voicemail pick up! So this is me,being brave and trying a new blog at the risk of sounding silly,dumb,lame,etc. Done!
My teenager,M,is a senior and leaving for college next year. Boy, will I need to be brave then! I am needing to be brave now just knowing it is coming! My goal is to try to do things and hang out with her as much as we can before she goes. The little moments are what I really love the most with her. We are silly together. We have inside jokes together. She is a light in my life that she probably doesn't even realize how much she shines in my eyes. My goal-to make sure she knows it, beyond a shadow of a doubt before she embarks on her new journey in life. Be brave,mom.
My friend who is being so brave with troubles in her own life,has no idea what an impact she made with those words. Hopefully, she will be reading this blog so she can see I happen to think she is one of the most courageous people I know.
So many stories in the bible of bravery but don't you think Jesus's is the bravest of all? I wonder if anyone whispered "Be Brave" as he made that walk to his death? I do know God whispers it to so many people I have come across in my life.Those with cancer,those who suffered abuse,miscarriage,death of loved ones,divorce,financial ruin. I can just see the courage God breathed into them. Also, those who are taking those brave faithful steps-going back to college as an adult,having a baby when life isn't perfect, trusting someone new,finding a church or job where they fit in. Joy comes from faith. Courage comes from faith. Life without faith just doesn't make sense to me.
Be brave. Just for a moment in time. See how it works. I know I will.
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