Life is something else, isn't it? Never what you expect, sometimes going your way or not and yet a blessing all the same. A gift. Sometimes we, as humans, treat the gift of life and the gifts we get in life as a bad present. We do a glance over,push it aside and move on.
I wonder what would happen if we truly took every second, everything that happens in a minute and treated it with admiration. True admiration-true awe. Through the eyes of a child and all that corny stuff. How would we feel? How would we feel about others and really...how would we feel about ourselves if others treated us that way?
But life happens and all it takes is one curve ball to throw us off our gratitude attitude. How quickly that can happen! Like falling off a healthy eating plan or going back to an old habit. Only takes one event and wham.....there we go......
There are people who truly treat life as trash. But do you think they started treating life as trash or someone treated them like trash first? I think the latter. Sad, really. Oh, there are exceptions to that rule but if hurt people didn't hurt people the world would be a better place,don't you think?
But if you don't treat life as trash do you treat it like the gift it is? Do you stop to smile at someone or just say hello? Say Thank You?
I love in the south how so many just wave to each other. A simple wave. But it makes me smile. Maybe southerners take that for granted but if they have ever been anywhere else they would know that doesn't happen everywhere.
Change can be good-a curve ball can be lesson learning. Above all, life is good. It is a gift and in it are many, many, many gifts. Love,laughter, friends,family are the obvious but what about the scenery, the sounds, the creatures,etc. All gifts. Awe inspiring.
Life has been rough for me so far in 2013, at least on one hand, but if I take the attitude of "gift living" there has been so much I have learned/gained/experienced. I could list everything that is a gift to me but I am not, the point is- I do have a list. A list is good-it means I appreciate more then just one or two things in my life.
I am really trying to remember all of the above. I am moving out of my fog,dusting off my knees and palms to pick myself back up so I can get back in the game. Not easy when life has been rough. Not easy when there are days all you want to do is kick dirt and scream.
Now, I know not everyone believes in God or believes as I do. But I really get a kick out of what God creates. What He does. What He can do. Am I happy with all that He makes happen? No way! But I am relearning to trust Him with it all. I have to believe He is doing all kinds of things behind the scenes to make the bad things have meaning to make the good things bring on something even better.He gives me gifts and I need to remember to say Thank You. I need to remember to spot every single gift,every precious moment and to wave. Always wave.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Not getting to the end of a good book.....how I look at grief
Do you like to read? Could you imagine reading a really excellent book and never getting to read the last few chapters?
That is how I feel about my brother's passing. He will never get to know the ending of the stories of our lives, our families lives. Of course, he doesn't feel this way but I do. It is one of the worst things about grief, doing life without the one you love and being able to share the endings.
I think about several things he was in the middle of or how he will never know how certain things turn out. I talk to him and I tell him things but it is not the same. Events he will miss. How proud of his wife he would be through all of this junk she has to deal with-how her brother has stepped up to the plate, how I will never stop being her "forever sister". Things with my mom...just life, ya know?
He would be so MAD at being gone. I told my husband that and he said Well, who wouldn't hate it? Miserable people, that is who. Luckily many of us aren't miserable and for so many of us we know where we land. The bible clearly states we will know our loved ones in heaven and of course, at that point I won't care about the endings. All I will care about is meeting my God and seeing my loved ones.
But right now it hurts. It is painful and can be agonizing. Grief can be all consuming at moments and then gone the next. It can be joyful to remember one day and knee dropping the next.
When my dad passed I thought I was a know it all when it came to grief. About a year ago and friend's dad was murdered. I cooked a meal and went over there. I said all the "right things". Thought I knew how she felt and tried to impart wisdom. I was clueless to her pain. Totally clueless. Today I still don't think I have the grief she has because of circumstances but I get it more.
Don't get me wrong. I loved my dad tremendously. 4 years ago I lost that great man. But we knew it was coming. His suffering ended. Took me about 2 years to get out of that grief period and some days it is not gone but it is much easier. I am glad he wasn't here for Scott's passing. It would have destroyed him.
I sure hope 2 years from now this pain will have eased. I have learned a lot. I have accepted and expect those days when it is unbearable. But it doesn't change the fact that I would love to share the last few chapters of life with Scott.
If he could get all of his questions answered by God, he would be standing there with pipe in hand and saying to Him Wow-I never would have thought of that! He probably would want to know how certain things were made and he would tell Jesus- Ya know I am a carpenter too. He might even try to say Well, if you may want to try it this way......
I am grateful there is no emotional or physical pain for him. I am grateful of the time we had together on this earth. I am grateful he is my brother. I am grateful that I will see him again when the true final chapter happens,because really that is gonna be one cool ending.
That is how I feel about my brother's passing. He will never get to know the ending of the stories of our lives, our families lives. Of course, he doesn't feel this way but I do. It is one of the worst things about grief, doing life without the one you love and being able to share the endings.
I think about several things he was in the middle of or how he will never know how certain things turn out. I talk to him and I tell him things but it is not the same. Events he will miss. How proud of his wife he would be through all of this junk she has to deal with-how her brother has stepped up to the plate, how I will never stop being her "forever sister". Things with my mom...just life, ya know?
He would be so MAD at being gone. I told my husband that and he said Well, who wouldn't hate it? Miserable people, that is who. Luckily many of us aren't miserable and for so many of us we know where we land. The bible clearly states we will know our loved ones in heaven and of course, at that point I won't care about the endings. All I will care about is meeting my God and seeing my loved ones.
But right now it hurts. It is painful and can be agonizing. Grief can be all consuming at moments and then gone the next. It can be joyful to remember one day and knee dropping the next.
When my dad passed I thought I was a know it all when it came to grief. About a year ago and friend's dad was murdered. I cooked a meal and went over there. I said all the "right things". Thought I knew how she felt and tried to impart wisdom. I was clueless to her pain. Totally clueless. Today I still don't think I have the grief she has because of circumstances but I get it more.
Don't get me wrong. I loved my dad tremendously. 4 years ago I lost that great man. But we knew it was coming. His suffering ended. Took me about 2 years to get out of that grief period and some days it is not gone but it is much easier. I am glad he wasn't here for Scott's passing. It would have destroyed him.
I sure hope 2 years from now this pain will have eased. I have learned a lot. I have accepted and expect those days when it is unbearable. But it doesn't change the fact that I would love to share the last few chapters of life with Scott.
If he could get all of his questions answered by God, he would be standing there with pipe in hand and saying to Him Wow-I never would have thought of that! He probably would want to know how certain things were made and he would tell Jesus- Ya know I am a carpenter too. He might even try to say Well, if you may want to try it this way......
I am grateful there is no emotional or physical pain for him. I am grateful of the time we had together on this earth. I am grateful he is my brother. I am grateful that I will see him again when the true final chapter happens,because really that is gonna be one cool ending.
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