A Tired But Short Ramble....Like Me!

In the middle of the night the other night, I am looking up stages of breast cancer because,honestly, I couldn't remember if I had stage 2 or 3. (Chemo brain is W E I R D) Like how does someone not remember that tidbit.

I figure it out and it hits me. It was not stage 1 but stage 2B, if I have that figured right. 

I have to let it sink in. 

I look back and realize that for the last 2 years when I was battling exhaustion, body aches, and not feeling normal, odds are it was the cancer and not the diagnosis I received of incomplete lupus. This is just my guess, of course. But the cancer was there being sneaky and growing.

How could I have not gone for a mammogram in 2018? Ugh, don't miss yours!

Anyway, here I am- a warrior doing my thing and getting through it all. 

Mentally, I am probably where the rest of you are with life right now- over it! I am jealous of people who can go live their lives without a care, honestly. I wonder when the day will come that I can do that and it sure doesn't feel like it'll be in 2020. Sighhh

Mentally, I also have had to come to terms with certain family and friends that have not even reached out to me just to check on me. Or to tell me they are thinking of me. Not once. These are relationships that I need to exam when I have the energy to do so. One family member, supposedly, wants to heal our relationship from years prior and yet can't even send a text?  It is interesting to me that this is a common occurrence with people going through cancer. Some have their spouse or best friend just disappear! I just can't comprehend it.

I am so super grateful for my friends and family who have been there to cheer me on and support me when I can't stand alone.

I have days where I am ok mentally and physically and other days I am so exhausted that I spend more time in bed than out.

I am a big proponent of therapy but right now, I can't go into an office to visit a therapist so all of you get to be it. Yay for you!!😆

I haven't figured out what my purpose will be when this is over. But there is one!

I don't have anything else to ramble on about, sorry if this is the same old same old.

Maybe the next blog post, life will have something different for me to share! 😆